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Archive for the ‘Miscellaneous’ category

Best driver in Sri Lanka for your vacation!

Jally, our drive in Sri Lanka

Best driver in Sri Lanka (in my expert opinion)

If you’re looking for the right person to take you around the island, then Jally is your man.

We found Jally from recommendations on the Lonely Planet Thorn Tree forum, and from there got in touch via email. He provided a quote, his responses were prompt and clear and we immediately understood we were putting ourselves into good hands.

Essentially, the driving experience in South Asia often determines your state of mind upon returning home. Paying a fair price for a competent driver who takes you only where you want to go, who speaks English fluently, and who provides insightful local knowledge and is forever punctual, meant our journey becomes effortless. Getting a bad driver means wanting to punch everyone by the time you pass back through passport control on your way home. We paid a fair price and opted for the good driver.

Jally picked us up from Colombo airport at some ludicrously rude hour of the morning and we never looked back. We’d already planned our more-or-less fixed itinerary before departing, and for the next eight days everything ran smoothly. Jally took us where we wanted to go, was flexible as we altered our arrangements,and has 20 years’ experience of dealing with foreign tourists which has given him an aptitude to understand his customer – not once did he so much as hint at taking us to a local emporium to buy anything – and that alone is enough for me to recommend him highly.

In short Jally will take you where you want to go and not take you where you have no intention of going. He is well-educated, softly spoken, polite… and answered every question we asked in a manner that displayed personal insight and not memorised facts and figures from guide books.

Thank you Jally for making our Sri Lanka experience an exceptional one.

Get in touch with him at rehana_jaleel@yahoo.com

GG مع السلامة

I’ve been in Dubai for over a year and have sadly accumulated the grand total of approximately three friends.

One is leaving tomorrow morning on a flight to Brazil (which leaves approximately two friends), and GG intends to spend his days doing things in a more relaxed mode that would ever be achievable here.

So he bids adieu to this:

What the UAE abounds in

And in less than 48 hours will greet as his new home, this:

What Brazil has to offer

Understandably, I know why you’re leaving GG.

Best of luck and I shall be over for carnevale sooner rather than later.

New sandals

I kind of feel repulsed by shopping centres. Never liked them. Mostly, being in retail space reinforces the inferiority complex I have along with a certain frisson of je ne sais quoi: I don’t belong. I just don’t get it. I don’t understand why anyone would want to spend time in a cavernous concrete temple of artificiality, and anyway, what do people do once they get there?

I know that some indoor shopping centre contain bookstores, stationery shops and hardware stores, and I certainly enjoy wasting my time among shelves stocked with paper, calligraphy pens and drill bits. Lots of little things arranged together side by side, to form a magical whole. Whenever I’m roaming among aisles of glue and adhesives or comparing wall plug sizes, I always think about what it must be like to perform a stock take in this environment. Imagine spending your afternoon attempting an accurate count of erasers, bath plugs or Lonely Planet Guides?

Personally, I think working in retail would be a death sentence for me. Not only because of my poor social skills and unwillingness to sell anything to anyone, but because standing on my feet for eight hours a day seems is as appealing as a Los Angeles-Sydney non-stop flight seated next to a Philippine Roman Catholic nun. Which, by the way, happened to me. I have no desire to repeat the experience, and certainly not every day of my chosen career.

Still, some people choose to work in retail because they feel good about helping people and enjoy giving customer satisfaction. There is a infinitely small percentage of retail staff that can read me, who can feel the ‘stay away from me’ vibe’ which I emit whenever I start browsing. The remainder of retail workers can be divided into those who follow me unceasingly around the shop and those who look at my appalling dress sense and ignore me therewith.

The latter group of retailers are uniquely to be found in clothing and accessory shops. People working in clothes stores and I, well, we are mutual in our antipathy towards the other party. I consider fashion very low on the ‘list of things a human needs to achieve self-satisfaction and happiness’. It’s down there with ‘meeting a celebrity’ and ‘shaving every workday’. Luckily, human are a rich, varied and surprisingly disappointing species, so there are a plethora of types who couldn’t think of any place better to spend the day than ‘Gap’ or ‘Harvey Nichols’. Good, now you people can serve me.

However, don’t look at me like that. I know I look crap and I’ll never make it into Vogue, but to be fair, I think Anna Wintour would look good as a coat and Karl Lagerfeld is one of the reasons that the Taliban isn’t all wrong about western values. One of my closest friends once said that on a scale from one to ten in dress sense, I scored a zero. Luckily for me, I couldn’t give a toss.

However, I cannot live without sandals. And today I bought some. They are very special. The man told me how wonderful they looked and I asked him to be quiet because this would be the twentieth pair I’ve bought in my life. They just happen to be back in fashion now, so spare me the sycophantic obsequiousness. I’m wearing them about the hotel room because I can.

With any luck, sandals will be in fashion again for the new few years and at least once more in 2023, probably the next time I have to enter a clothing store. Of course, the irony is that my article on Istanbul shopping centres is the most read of all the online pieces I’ve written. Rubbish.

The Road leads to depression

Well, it was better than trying to portay the cannabalism in the movie.

I’ve just returned from watching The Road, a film based on the Pulitzer prize-winning author’s novel of the same name. After finishing the 300 page book just under a fortnight ago, I was content to slump comfortably into my seat in the sparsely attended 6:30pm evening screening.

I knew the end of the world was coming

Since my formative years included the early 1980s, I was deeply affected by what I perceived as the reality of impending nuclear warfare. Long before SCUD missiles rained down iridescent over Kuwait City and later Iraq, I remember sitting on my back porch step on summer evenings, waiting for the Intercontinental Ballistic missile to smash my tadpole and stamp collection to smithereens. I was certain that the world would end during my teenage years. I sat through The Day After, Testament and War Games; three films that helped convince me I wouldn’t need to worry about dying of old age.

As it turned out, untrustworthy, warmongering governments have somehow managed to keep humanity from inducing its own end, long enough for the cinematic cycle to turn full circle. The camp ridiculousness of cinematographic fecal discharge such as The Day after Tomorrow and 2012 (maybe the most disappointing movie ever), has done nothing to educate any of us about the fragility of our existence.

A planet that can no longer sustain life

The Road is brilliant. No government in conflict, no statesmen posturing, no overly dramatic build up to a nuclear holocaust. The narrative simply starts post-apocalypse, and whatever did cause the end of civilisation, well, it wasn’t the concern of the movie.

Instead, it’s a tale of survival in a ash-laden, grey-streaked world of seared landscapes and charred industrial ruin. It’s Children of Men without the hope to carry you through. I could taste the filth of the polluted atmosphere, the falling specks of ash, the grime of unwashed human wreckage. The Road contains minimal action but loads of despair. What McCarthy imagines we become post-apocalypse is what we are already on our way to being. Inhuman. In a world without resources, we begin to consume ourselves.

Unlike the publicist who write the blurb on McCarthy’s book, I wasn’t ‘sustained by the love’ between the father and son. I just feel like my deepest teenage fears have come back to haunt me again.

Why I love my passport

The mark of a worthy passport is not having to collect the stamps in the first place.

Today I’m sitting in bed and chuckling to myself though the clock warns me it’s 5:30am, a time I assume has meaning in other people’s lives, but not mine.

Late yesterday morning a colleague at work informed me I needed to organise air tickets for two staff. They were required to travel to neighbouring Bahrain, just an hours’ flight away from Dubai International Airport. Rejoicing at the joy of e-ticketing that has come with the Internet, I was swiftly able to locate and reserve two seats for DXB-BAH, leaving at 7:15am the following morning and returning late in the evening on the same day.

Be thankful for a passport that give affords you unhindered travel

Still, it was never going to be as simple as that. You see, if all Consulates and Embassies warn us in an unreadable, minuscule font that the granting of a visa does not guarantee entry into the territory which the diplomatic office represents, those of us with passports from rich and powerful nations never consider, or rarely, that we may actually be denied entry.

This trait doesn’t belong to many citizens from less powerful or little-liked nations, or from countries deemed hostile to the dominant world order. One of my staff travels with an Indian passport, and he was already undoubtedly used to encountering the misplaced bureaucracy that comes with border crossings.

When I called the Bahrain Embassy in Abu Dhabi to learn the process for him to obtain a visa, I received a response that was unsure and hesitant. A e-visa could be issued within the next two weeks. Useless for a 7:15am flight the following morning. Could he obtain a visa on arrival at the airport? No, out of the question. Unless. If I could persuade the company in Bahrain where my colleague had an appointment to issue a formal, signed and stamped Letter of Invitation, it might just work. I started to feel constipated.

Five hours later I managed a smile

Though the last rays of the sun were already sinking past the gleaming spires of Dubai when I received the second attempt at a Letter of Invitation with accurate itinerary dates, passport numbers and correctly spelled names, I jumped a little excitedly that I’d managed to pull it off. He would be able to attend the training session in Bahrain.

but an hour ago, at 4:30, my colleague woke me from contented slumber. In the background I could hear the familiar noises of the airport departure hall, that continuous voice over system announcing a thousand flights to ten thousand bleary-eyed travellers taking the red-eye specials, dressed in suit and without any check-in luggage. ‘No need to tell me… you’re not going?’ Even before customs had the opportunity to scan and manhandle and glare condescendingly at him, the check-in counter steward had refused to issue a boarding pass. Why? Well, to some people and governments out there, your job title is an important thing.

I don’t what your job title is but have a good idea what I’d like to call you

Since with word ‘manager’ was nowhere to be seen on my colleague’s UAE residency permit, the check-in clerk believed he would be refused a visa on arrival in Bahrain. Does it really matter? Yes, to some people it clearly does.

I asked to speak with the airline staff member and knew that I wouldn’t be rolling back into my bed within the next half hour. Thanking another gift of technology, I took my mobile phone into the kitchen and prepared a fresh pot of coffee. I was already agitated so I thought I’d just help myself along a little more.

Somehow, and certainly not due to my bedside manners and endless charm, my colleague got to Bahrain. The day went well. Yet again, I am grateful for my passport. And must remember more often not to take it for granted. I am visiting Bahrain in less than a fortnight and won’t even have to think about obtaining a visa beforehand. Or should I? Nah, that kind of thing never happens to me.

Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

Three months to get two-thirds of the way though a book...

Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers, The Story of Success has put me in sombre mood. Well and truly. I finished reading it last night ensconced in a corner of my local Lebanese restaurant, a place I go where I delude myself that the food is healthy and low on fat. Working my through both lentil soup and deep fried kebbeh, I also devoured the last hundred pages of Mr Gladwell’s book as quickly as I’d chomped through the first hundred.

It’s an intriguing read, perhaps more so for those of us who feel that, in some way or another, success has remained out of reach. It doesn’t mean I’m not happy with how my life has panned out thus far; indeed life seems to me a pretty good deal most of the time. It’s just that I’ve never believed I’ve achieved anywhere near what I should have by this stage in my life.

Gladwell makes easy reading. Whether it be his gripping style or the ability to make the reader understand that complex ideas can be clearly explained with a strong dose of common sense, Outliers nonetheless makes me feel that I may well have squandered a good part of my energies on frivolous tasks. Whereas success may have come if only I’d applied myself more assiduously to other problems.

Some factors are outside our control

First in the book is what Gladwell calls the ‘Matthew effect’, the presumption that success is not just a simple function of individual merit. Being born at the right time and in the right place has a lot to do with it, though in my case I require more time to think about how being born into a lower middle-class suburban Australian family at the beginning of the 70′s has shaped my life.

There are certainly many characteristics that I share with friends of similar age and background. Often, we are the first of our family to have undertaken tertiary studies, at a time when free education disappeared under the Australian Labour government and a creeping pay-as-you-go scheme commenced, allowing financially uneducated students to incur massive amounts of debt that would eventually be returned to the State through the taxation system. Most of my friends have also continued to pursue postgraduate courses, or at least seem dedicated to what educators are now calling lifelong learning. We enrol in refresher, part-time, community college and a whole host of other personal interest classes on a variety of subjects.

10,000 hours? Not sure I’m there yet

Secondly, we all unanimously worked our way through university, often finishing a shift a the local restaurant before returning home to scrawl out that paper on Wuthering Heights before facing our prickly and turgid tutor at 8am the following morning. It didn’t strike me then, but it does now, that while I loved traipsing about the filthy vegetarian cafe in which I toiled, often until 2am, I should probably have been deliberating imperfect subjuntives and trawling my way though Greenbaum’s University Grammar of English. I didn’t put in enough hours doing the right stuff and I evidently didn’t accumulate the 10,000 hours that Gladwell claims might have made me an expert in my chosen field.

Today I can speak more-or-less fluently a number of languages, but I’ve never really put them to good use. I never obtained a teaching qualification to teach a language other than English and I never earned a PhD that might have seen me preaching in the amphitheatre of some ugly concrete monolith on campus. I made other choices.

Travel has been both my passion and most likely the reason I’ve never scaled any social or material heights. All, and I mean all my savings have dissipated through air tickets, bus journeys, pad thai noodles, visa fees, shoddy hostels and travel guides. Compared with many, I have had the privilege of visiting spectacular and wondrous people and places, yet I’ve failed to become someone known in any field.

10,000 hours is a number that almost flabbergasts me today. Ten years concentrating on a single field. Gates did it, among others. Maybe estimating the hours I spent hunched in a cubicle  surrounded by bilingual dictionaries, or headphones askew,  sat listening in the language lab and wondering whether I’d ever comprehend what the woman was repeating over and over in a rasping South American Spanish… perhaps I’d calculate a figure that I could subtract from 10,000 to devise a plan to accumulate the outstanding amount?

Gladwell’s Outliers has been the most enlivening but also one of the more sobering reads I’d had in some time. I think I need to put in some long hours.